


Papa's Head

by icegirl99



Series: You Love Him [1]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-15 21:41:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21025157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icegirl99/pseuds/icegirl99
Summary: Papa Emeritus III spends a night thinking about how he came to love the man that hates him.





	Papa's Head

**Author's Note:**

> Not an established relationship. At least not yet. Might make this a series. Not sure yet.

The night air was still, the open window not providing a source of fresh air. The moonlight cast a light glow across the floor. Papa couldn't sleep, tossing and turning in his sheets. The events of the day kept replaying in his head. 

Sighing, he tossed the silky purple sheets aside and sat up. He wasn't going to get sleep any time soon. It was well past midnight and he wasn't tired, even after the stresses of the heavy workload he was experiencing. 

Papa got up and went over to his dresser. He pulled the ornately carved dark oak drawer open and reached in to pull out some clothes. He didn't dress in normal black suit, instead opting for some dark jeans, a black t-shirt, and a grey button-down. 

He grabbed his phone after slipping on a pair of shoes, they were his regular dress shoes but he didn't care, and quietly exited his living quarters.

He expected the hallways to be empty but he passed a few brothers and sisters of sin. He greeted them as warmly as he could. Putting on that fake charm that he knew they all loved. Most times he enjoyed the innocent flirting. The way they blushed or smiled back at him with that dazed look in their eyes. Most days and nights he lived for that look. Not tonight.

Papa made his way down to the main floor of the church and out into the gardens. They were beautifully lit. The soft yellow glow from the overhead lamps, casting low light over the path. Perfectly trimmed green shrubs and bushes lined the stone pathways. But it wasn't the gardens that he longed for. He continued down the pathway that led out behind the church.

He walked, head bowed. Eventually, the path ended and Papa found himself walking on the soft well kept grass. Soon he approached the lake in the middle of the church grounds. 

The lake was smooth. The surface like glass, reflecting the moonlight and stars. It was a calming scene. Papa didn't come out here often, although recently he found he needed it more and more. He sat down on a wooden bench on the shore.

The thoughts that were keeping him awake were nothing new, the last few months he'd been feeling conflicted. Three months ago Sister Imperator and his father had assigned him a new Cardinal to work with. Cardinal Copia.

At first, Papa wasn't pleased with the idea. He didn't need a 'babysitter', his own words. That was what Papa truly believed was happening. His father had grown angry with the way Papa was running the church and Papa was the first to admit he often didn't do things in the most usual way. In fact, he often did things his own way, which would often make his father and Imperator angry and frustrated with him, but he would always accomplish his tasks in a complete and timely manner. 

Upon first meeting the Cardinal, Papa was cold. Angry with Copia. In hindsight, it wasn't Copia that Papa should have been angry with, but himself and his piss poor attitude that drove the Cardinal to resent Papa. 

Sighing, Papa put his head in his hands. Truth be told, as time went by, he grew quite fond of Copia. The man was very awkward and clumsy and often suffered from what Papa suspected were anxiety attacks. Especially in the beginning when Papa would be such an ass towards him. He regretted that. But he knew it was something that could not be taken back. Forgiven, maybe, but Papa knew that was highly unlikely. He wished Copia would forgive him. He wanted that very much. 

During the months Papa spent working with the Cardinal, he would come to appreciate the man. Despite his social anxiety and awkwardness, Copia was a very intelligent and caring individual. He found him quite endearing. Even when Papa was stressed and rude to him, Copia always treated Papa with such respect. The Cardinal was a very sweet man. 

He was also not so bad looking, Papa thought as he dragged his hand over his face. In fact, Cardinal Copia was quite attractive. 

It started with Papa thinking about the Cardinal while he was bedding various members of the clergy, as Papa often did. This was nothing new, what was new were the thoughts and images going through his head during this. Time after time, he imagined it was the Cardinal in his bed with him. 

At first, Papa believed it was just a physical attraction. But soon he was longing for the Cardinal's company outside of their work. He wanted to invite Copia to have dinner with him, to have a few drinks, to kiss him…

The day's events flashed back through Papa's mind. "You're useless Copia!" Papa had yelled at him after the Cardinal had failed to complete his half of the work on time. "Imperator will have our asses for this and I'm going to make sure that she knows I had my work done on time."

Copia had recoiled at his words and had mumbled a stuttered, nervous apology. Before backing out of Papa's office with tears in his eyes.

Papa had been upset with Imperator and not Copia. Imperator had been giving him more and more assignments in the last few weeks. He had finally had enough when Copia had shown up at his office to declare that his part of the assignment wasn't yet completed.

Papa felt tears sting at his eyes. He had had time to come down and think about what he had said to the Cardinal. He deeply regretted his words. His temper was something he always struggled with. Add stress to the picture and Papa was lost to his anger. But he had never intended to hurt Copia. The fact that he had made him want to cry. His chest felt heavy with the remorse he held for his actions and his words. There wasn't anything he could do to make things better he knew. He closed his eyes and let the tears fall. Papa loved his Cardinal, he really wanted to take back what he'd said tonight and make things better for both of them but he knew if it came down to it again, he may not be able to control his temper. 

Rising from the bench, Papa started to walk back towards the church. For Copia, he was willing to try. If his Cardinal was willing to give him that chance at least.


End file.
